19 August 2011 South East vs East Anglia Jockeys Cricket Match
by Hannah Grissell
They say that cricket is the ultimate display of true sportsmanship, as recently demonstrated by India in the second test when Ian Bell walked off the pitch prematurely because he was hungry for tea.
However, when the ruthless, win-at-all-costs Point-to-Point jockeys pick up a bat, sportsmanship gets thrown out of the window. Similar to when they are racing. Amateurs they may be, but when it comes to winning, regardless of the sport, these guys take no prisoners!
The South East raiders made the four hour journey to Point-to-Point trainer Ollie Vaughan-Jones' farm in North Norfolk, where he happens to have a cricket pitch. Well, it's actually a paddock for the horses for 364 days of the year but Mr Vaughan-Jones had his sons, Alex and Sam, furiously mowing, rolling and painting lines for 2 days prior to create a beautifully smooth pitch that would rival Lords any day.
The South East opened the batting. Unfortunately, veteran jockey Pete Bull and last season SE champion Tom Cannon were non-runners on the day, which meant that the South East team were two men down. Luckily the Grissell sisters, who had come up as mascots, were promoted to players and they were first to bat. Unsurprisingly, after receiving a succession of sexist abuse (apparently it's called ‘sledging'), they were shortly out, one bowled and the other caught.
Next up was Stuart Robinson who, despite winning the award for most drunk cricketer of the day, displayed a superior performance with a series of sixes. Likewise Ben (Toni & Guy) Bentley, whose peroxide hair blinded those without sunglasses (great tactic), came on at the same time to complement Robinson with his superb bating.
The East Anglia side, who were reigning champions, were looking vulnerable at this moment, with James Owen dropping a catch because he wouldn't put his beer down and Rupert Stearn dropping a catch because he was facing the wrong way due to nature calling. However, they managed to whittle quite quickly through the remaining seven batsmen, who consisted of Phil (Shaggy) Hall, Will (i-am) Hickman, Ed (I'm still on my gap yah) Grissell, Harry (I can't decide if I'm English or Irish) Fowler, Alex (Most well-spoken jockey in the weighing room) Merriam, Matt (if there is alcohol involved I'm there) Braxton, and Oz (Neil from the Inbetweeners) Wedmore. The SE ended their innings on 137.
After a lavish tea provided by the very glamorous East Anglian WAGS, Rupert (it's only a game, not) Stearn opened the batting for the East Anglian side. The South East had a miserable time trying to get rid of him, especially with Stuart Robinson spending too much time heckling and letting through a lot of byes! Strong batting from the East Anglian side also came from Ed (thinking of becoming a flat jockey now I'm so thin) Turner, David (Shane Warne) Kemp, (Lord) George Greenock (man of the match) and not so strong from Alex Vaughan-Jones.
East Anglia reached 138 runs with 3 men still to bat, so the game finished with victory to them.
After a rather too raucous post-match party in the Vaughan-Jones family home two years ago, the cricketers were unsurprisingly not invited back there for celebrations. Instead the boys and their WAGS were banished to the V-J's second home - a half derelict house on the edge of a cliff where everyone could make as much mess and noise as they wanted.
Here, the real sport commenced. First person into the sea was a draw between Rose Grissell and Harry Fowler, closely followed by Ben (centre of attention) Rivett. This was shortly followed by the boat race! Now this boat race didn't have any boats involved, just several pints of local cider. Here six representatives from each team lined up with a pint each which they had to down one by one. The first team who downed all their pints won.
After three re-matches, much debate and a scrap between Stuart Robinson and Ed Turner, umpire Andrew Hickman awarded the race to the South East team for showing the most integrity throughout the contest.
The East Anglians might have won the cricket but the true winners were the South East, showing who the real champions were when it comes to partying!
